What Your Looking Up Too Isn’t Me

Most of the lessons I’ve learned in college at any of these Universities is something filled with every drop of information and the attitude of the professor is not really any of our business. Meanwhile, if you don’t like it then do not walk up to my table and complain. I probably would be happier in a cafe with money to use on my own selfishness than a set up for expensive crap I do not even find that attractive. The last place I ever really wanted to be was confind in a setting where I couldn’t find much to explore.

I remember how much and how big of a deal it was to get a costume when I was little especially between the ages of 12 to 15 but sweetheart your 40 wanting to look like a drag queen who needed every drop of glued on sequenced mermaid shampoo for my Baby and My Husbands damn sea colored eyes. 

For a costume I have bought myself a dollar face sticker and I don’t think this was supposed to be who can wear the sleaziest or what they are saying Naughtiest thing in the country. Mostly growing up in the age of my 20s this was not something I wanted to be known for. Though being and accepted to things like Suicide Girls in which I have never taken a true photoshoot for did give me some pride. I did pornos and they don’t need to but if that is what they have done then most of the time there is nothing you can do to go behind them and clear that up. 

That Is Why I Have Chosen The Major I have in PR & ADVT or is it mass communications?! in which I have every right to communicate every penny to earn every penny back. 

How did you get that GIG or I mean *cough cough* what he said Gag in the first place. How did you take my old job and my only job in the first place. Don’t you know that is how me and my people eat what this church put in your face when I was about 15 to 17. 

The person you are looking up to may hurt you … Reader BeWare 10/14/18

My Father Kurt stated “You have been writing some really wierd things lately…” First of all I’m suprised he is even looking. To begin with I always felt that my work was inadequate and insignificant to match or play matches with surroundings and fellow students. 

If you haven’t noticed life in that Game is a huge competition and I didn’t really look at my following. In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and unfortunately due to circumstances you filled it in with what you thought would make you & others around you; especially your family. Celebrate Recovery in January was supposed to bring support for me. Not another long desperate journey in which I have and had to pull myself out of. Be careful what you ask for, you just may get it. 

Also be happy in the position you already in & accept yourself for everything you already are. No we do not have your money & especially when approaching someone do not begin to ask for what their lifes work has amounted to. For only our God who we should put full FAITH in has guided us through and to do and work on a daily basis. Especially with a $24,000 Student Debt Balance. 

I can only pay back what I am able to in the time I am able to; mygreatlakes.org. When God gives you a calling you follow it. When the country gives you a responsibility your duty is to help the best way you can. When you have financial problems you are the person to take care of it. It is yours so deal with it with the cards you have been dealt – not to mention – one date is nothing compared to what they have actually “stated”.

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We should have been able to trust our role models; i feel like i can’t for what its chased – what case?!

Public Relations has opened up doors that I have been afraid to open. Each person feels like a new un-opened book in which one simply word of mine could set it in a positive mood or the most negetive attitude you will ever see in your life. After visiting Arlington & Mansfield jail for a week a piece for shoplifting; which is something I have promised myself I would never do again. 

A crime that if I ever commit again I would be looking at almost three years for. Unfortunately especially speaking to my 17 to 28 year old crowd they would do anything to push that into the wrong peoples faces. I shouldn’t even have to wake up with the thoughts of running away from the people that keep this country safe. 

In Tarrant County Jail; I wrote and wrote and got only what my small hands and torn down heart could get. Scraps of paper and a stubby pencil. I believe if it wasn’t for that I would have been in there longer. I have not really changed from these same life lessons of writing. Every piece was thrown away after I left the cell. The streets around me grew more of a crowd and soon I was swamped out of my own two feet. Leaving me an OPP to call my Father & back to Millwood. 

Different Settings we’re still mostly the same people… If not it could be a deamon which i’m not even really able to write or speak about. That is your battle – keep it. 

No one wants your lifestory everytime you come up to them. Nor do they want you to be felt especially their spirit – Mostly I wouldn’t touch the person or the things that person has in order to find or obtain things for yourself. I didn’t try to create this spirit containment for any specific reasons and if I have I sincerely appologize. 

  1. Don’t be lustful for other peoples stuff or their grades, friends, or putting them back into the box in which they came here and unpacked with. 
  2. Know your own comfort zone and predetermine what direction to keep it cheap is. No that lady probably put me back into another trap especially with her mouth. In which who is there to dig me out of it – I was hoping it would be them but they are no where to be around. I wonder if they’ll ever see me again. 
  3. We needed a way to address things that are almost illegal for us to talk about because things are greedy and most of the things we need are getting messed with. I didn’t go into your store with nothing. While I do have a more successful time shopping in the first place where things are cheap. Maybe it was a problem of handing them money or love in the first place. Maybe that is age; I appreciate cleaning your Palace for the $20 I have spent on what was non of their business. I looked at it the right way that isn’t mine. 
  4. I can ask you any question I want to and accept a response or not in the way you want it heard or not. Regardless I believe others have heard you and heard you quiet enough. 


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