We all like to shop; at least to the best of my knowledge we all do. It may be a unanomous decision but we all have that one thing in particular that we could say we couldn’t go without. Then it faces us; and it’s as though that money we once had no longer exist.
With 1,012 comments from people mostly re-occuring guest. I would love to sit here all day and work on them one by one. I don’t find my blog or any of the blogs that have come before this a waste of time. I do find it heart wrenching to find that I miss so much of my past though look so forward to the past; while at the same time finding it uncomfortable at the present moment.
I can no longer blame others or my disorders here with Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorder which moves so great along with Depression. I have however learned that the more you stay steditary in the moment with depression the worse it becomes.
I wasn’t fearful when I started this journey from my parents house. To make a complete loop; which has happened several times around. For the world does not revolve around me. God puts all things into motion; for I do not think it’s just gravitational forces that blind us.
“RIP “White Ford F150″ To Driving to one of these isn’t strange it is deranged to think a person of that stature would get away with all the dangers in the world.” – Johnna C. Floyd
Things I Have Bought
Money is easier spent than it ever is made. I wish for a way to make money; though in every way I feel that there is a guard rail of things in my way. I find that non of the schemes on Pinterest work. There is limited sources here in the group home especially without a way to get to a transportational system except that I have two feet that work. For that I have asked my “Real Dad” for shoes!
I have depended on my family most of my life and I can’t imagine living without them. Though for the last two to three years they have been seldom in my life. I am one to two years from my degree. While some have even told me that I would serve a consequence if I were to be found at work again.
My Vuse Solo is in need of cartridges as well as my JUUL Vape as well as my actual Vaporizer = a lot of money in nicotine… Going back now I think that was not so smart of a purchase and not stuff I just want to collect dust all over in nd my clear drawer.
My Planner; My Bible and an aray of Faith Happy Planner stickers. I don’t think I can just give and so in which I have; in a way in which I have become acustomed to. A person can only give so much of themselves. I grow each day though does it grow my heart harder to find the resentment and hardships of the knives driven in the back of my cloack.
Something I have done since I was 12; this is “No Game” anymore… You can’t just jackpot on the internet call another persons work yours and sit around the round table and profit – in the end we all find out who? what? when? where? and especially we can already begin to feel why?
So maybe I have gone further in my education than people have. I do not tend to brag; my parents had the best intentions for me and even I could not fullfill what their dreams for me were. Though; I will not be dragged down by especially that of week – mostly female hormonal gland problems. That which do not pertain to me and I am not to be blamed for laying in “MY” 2×4 twin bed and paying me Bills.
I have paid bills for the last year and a half. Though this is nothing of what I would have thought it would be. In a room full of three room-mates how dare you use another persons name to attain that unthinkable. While also following behind at a measurement of 2 ft though more like inches away.
However; this is a new year with new debts and new determinations. To simply rely on a man especially with an agenda that doesn’t match yours could be the death of you. I am called and placed in a place of whatever the heck this town of Fort Worth has called me. I am not in charge of my life; all the mean while God is in charge of mine. God will keep me safe in and out and through and in between. When I can see no other way; God sees all the way and keeps me safe and knows the way out. All I have to do is follow him and trust and believe. While not letting this all have effect especially as a sick patient; in which most of what these people are talking about is sick in the first place.
Bringing my finances and my mind into correction; in order to attain the last classes towards my degree and a seat at a company to where I can pay off my unfortunate demise. You will learn as you get older; you really don’t have friends nor are they collegues just people coming up from no where. To what pertains to me and my quirks as people wanting and wanting. Mostly anything we have; thanks for the comments mostly from these people. I would like to recieve as much help as possible; I wouldn’t come out and say I am a victim. Though I would say when desperate times have come they have come with desperate measures.
I don’t like to admit it but we all compare! When I compare myself to my roommates; I find that I came from a lot more. A better social class in my deepest regards. I was told I was mouthy growing up; though now I laugh the oldest woman in this room can not stop talking. She also violently talks about money in which we can not tell that which she exactly is talking about. The one about 4 years older than me; just needs to stop using my name. The one who I really don’t like following me; is sleeping and requires no immediate attention. While we all seem to struggle to keep our Nannie in the best of mindset possible.