Week-en-ing Without You

You don’t know how much of headache; some people can cause. While; most of the time you can’t blame others for what you have done towards their actions or is the opposite true for you? It’s best we do our work – though what do you notice is your work when you really don’t have a job – when do you know your crossing the line. 

First; I’d like to proclaim that we are deffinitly weak without God. Secoundly; we are weak without support. Third; we are weak without a true means of doing things. So don’t take what you have for granted in no sort or manner. I will always appreciate you! Don’t loose hope & build don’t talk… 



In the mornings before we leave on the bus for “The Center” we have been watching Charmed and Supernatural. While I have also wanted to sit down and learn about Chakaras and those Gems and Stones that do different things. I have also wanted to get into aromatherapy. Though this all seems to be the money I’m wasting. Though; who tells us this is money wasted or not – which is not just some generously renewable resource like the dirt in which we walk on. Oh! how I wish that were the case. 

With a roommates that share; better than we did when I first moved in here. A family that is being distant. A long miss in my heart for a loved one. A daily problematic place in my soul for when I will finally be going places and I have to stop complaining which comes so easily for so many of us.

Question-Ink Me

I don’t need to be questioning all the time. Though; no one needs or likes to be lied too. I am left to deal with what I can and that’s all that I can. My train of thought shouldn’t be your word of mouth. I need to know that these three roommates do not define me and we are trying to make something better than ourselves happen from a God we need to be earnestly grateful for.

What isn’t my problem is why my father won’t do much for me anymore…?
Or is it; is that why we’re watching Lifetime all the time. That everyday affects things that are in our every moments.

Is this ART more of a passion; in which we all know we can find ourselves some momentary happiness. I don’t think we all needed to join the GLEE CLUB!

Royally Flushed – Away

Our Toilet – is messed up; since I have been in the group home it has happened three times. We all need to do our part to make this situation work!

Celebrate Christmas with Good Mental Health

There’s one thing we all have in common here at the Adult Day Care Center. We are not in good mental health condition and many of us are getting treated for our illnesses on a daily basis. Through medication and people who surround us to help us.

Therapy provides the tools and strategies to navigate what is going on in life. Enacting real change in the way we think, behave, and cope on a daily basis.

Since I have been back; getting along with my roommates has been pretty difficult.


Mental Health Advice

  1. Try writing your feelings and thoughts down:
  2. Put a positive spin on being super stressed and overwhelmed. Pressure can challenge and motivate us.
  3. Plan daily low key walks – step away from what you are doing and get some air. Get out of your head and into the world.
  4. Counter negative thoughts with positive ones. They don’t have to consume you.
  5. Write 2 Good things when stuck in a negative thought spiral: hit pause and broaden focus when really upset. Think of things that bring joy, your proud of, & someone who loves you. Think gratitude.
  6. Self-Care: Whatever works for you.
  7. Talk back to your inner voice: the way you talk to yourself in your head or out loud! Learning how to have reassuring & soothing inner voice.
  8. Ask yourself & then what? When your stuck on an anxious thought.
  9. Check alcohol and drug habits.
  10. Have a bedtime ritual.

Accept & Honor Yourself For Who You Are Right Now:

Accept difficulties and who we are right now. While respecting everything we’ve been through led to who we are.



ST.Uck In Red & Tissues

I have finally gotten my anger adjusted; yes I have Bipolar Disorder. I can get really upset … almost to a ticking time bomb. After all we wanted a simple bath bomb and you know what we had the right ingredients to make it. Unfortunately that money isn’t for you and you know it. Meanwhile that body isn’t for you and you know it. Though God and I both love you and what we have been trying to stand for. 

First ask it … If it hits that Target <app> Market. In which it’s your fault for walking up to my register in the first place and whatever happens to you happens. I was trouble the moment I walked into this Dog Town. Don’t bring the cheerleader; whos name is faith into the story at all. At least not into my story. After all it’s my story and I can leave it the way I like it and I have the right to accept it or not. 

It mostly can’t have a normal conversation; while looking at dead bodies in beds that are about the size of cots that cost about $675 a month. Or I could be in the mission with fear that my Laptop and my things would be stolen again this year like they we’re last year. In which; you have to admit you did help with me walking off. From my son and my truck my father gave me. Though as much as we want to blame God. We both know it went deeper than that.

Well suck it up that’s being an adult. I wouldn’t have made it this far without Gods help. Ever since about three weeks in Millwood last year I have been in this Group Home. I am trying to get last Christmas and Starting of this wasted pricey Spring Semester out of my mind.

You don’t come back to it after it has written things like lifeasacollegemom.net or myapatheticheart.net <Mine>. Mostly; wierd things have happened to my blogs as I have grown and continued to write my blog/s on almost a daily basis.  


Now our job is too understand these <Crooks> If we really want this oil Dr. Ink is <Timely> talking about! Something in which my heart just couldn’t permit me to get into. I know my parents really don’t want to help me with this costly problem and I’m hoping they will be and understand. 

It is quite easy for any female fatality to open its doors and open its chat book and march away. The damn penguins didn’t have to follow me. They wanted attention from things they didn’t do in the first place. Where it’s already an establishment in which you get credit for what you have worked on. Not on what you have or who you are associated with at least that was always in the back of my Christian Ideology. That God was always wanting more from us than we could even understand.

I’m questioning to DeRidder #5 “Are They” That ungrateful. That cotton picking B* just knocked over and pushed me even off this bed. Now I am here questioning if that’s even legal. Something I don’t have to deal that many cards or restraunt job pieces too. While I have with my own two hands and feet. What do you mean? Fought Three Times & She’s Too Small Too Fight?! If it was something that I felt strongly about then I have every right too. 

Trust built the foundation; I am not trying to break what I have worked so hard to build. Then why God did I run away from my responsibilities in the first place?! I have had choices, consequences, and rights all in which at 30-31 have made up my own pattern to the lifestyle I am going to live. Even when others; are less than encouraging as it nears another holiday Thanksgiving. Which I’m hoping my Family is still thankful for me. As it is in a half-way home I am blessed beyond compare. Now is the time I just need to trust especially that which my Father “Kurt Floyd” has told me “Until the Day I Die”.

Make-Up To Made-Up

I have been carrying my black backpack that matches my black duffle bag everyday I have been going to “The Golden Choice” Center. If it wasn’t for places like these establishments we would be lost. People are always looking for things to do – I appreciate people who read my writings and find it enjoyable. 

For my 31st Birthday my parents took me to “Sephora” & The makeover results we’re great. The service was great and I got the right amount of make-up I needed. 

I believe as Women we go through phases of wanting to Dress to Impress to Really Not Giving A Care. I have learned that it is more important to love and take care of yourself. Than to sucumb to defeat to the guy you love or the Family attention you crave. When you are already too old to be tied to them and are using them as a crutch. 

Make-up lessons from pros

I did stage make-up for plays in High School. Although I only did about one play the lessons I learned are something I have needed and wanted to help with for a long time. I think if God gives you a talent then you should use it. If not then it is wasted talent. 

I have also had my go about with the company Mary Kay which is probably one of the worst investments me and my Mom got ourselves into. If anyone has walked into “Sephora” the store is already a bit intemidating. The first picked up item costs about $38 and when I was in there I couldn’t really find anything under that price that looked of good quality. 

  1. Don’t overspend or overbuy products… Use what you have and work with what you have first. No need in rushing out and getting new stuff unless there is a good reason. 
  2. Skin Care is Important… Especially down the road when you look back you want to realize what hard work you took to take care of your skin in the right way. 
  3. Not too much and not too little. Easy does it & you don’t have to overdo it. 

Pride & Prejudice & Boundaries

Pride & Prejudice & Boundaries

Rebekah and Jacob from the bible Genesis 27 show a good correlation of boundaries of how getting people to do what you want isn’t always a good thing. Loving someone means you love them enough to allow them freedom. Which is owning what is ours while not dismissing what is ours. Or worse trying to own what belongs to others.

Our parents set us up hopefully for success. To make our own decisions in as an adult. While not trying to control their/our decisions. I use to think having my Dad as my payee set him up to be in charge of me. Though today I believe it is closer to freedom.

Today I’d like to talk about setting boundaries and how boundaries help us improve as people.

  1. Alone Time Take alone time from business – we can get so caught up in everyday life that we eventually feel like we are stuck in a rut. When we feel like there is no way out. Before this happens find peace and quiet by yourself. Reflect on yourself and your life away from business.
  2. Away From Negativity – If you have to be around them limit that time. Limit media consumption if it is too negative.
  3. Be Honest & Upfront In A Relationship – Others need to know how feel in a relationship. Maybe they’re getting to close and personal. It’s ok to tell them to back off a little bit.
  4. Taking Responsibility For Self – at the end of the day the only one you have to deal with is yourself. If your not ok than no one around you will be ok.
  5. Allow others to accept their responsibility for themselves & I do not try to accept their responsibility. – You can’t control other people or the way they behave.
  6. Prioritize Your Needs – We don’t always get what we want but we do get what we need.
  7. Get your happiness from gratitude not status – BE grateful for everything you have you don’t know when it’ll be gone.
  8. Be Honest with yourself about what you need & be realisitc – Be realsitic about the things you really need; food, water, and shelter. Don’t think the world owes you something.
  9. Don’t let resentment build up – It’s better just to let it go as soon as you feel it start.
  10. It is not my responsibility to take responsibility for others.

Self-Care Times of Need

Self-Care Times of Need

My parents bought some new furniture from Habitat For Humanity yesterday. Two couches and two chairs and two green lamps. All for under $1000. When I was younger my parents used to tell me they would help me furnish my apartment if I didn’t have a wedding.

Watching these two girls make slime all morning. They’ve made all sorts of slime and it’s kind of neat also really annoying. YouTube channels.

Just gave blood at MHMR and took a piss test. Had to come back to the group home last night so I could get this all done today. My son threw a fit because I had to go back to the group home. He wanted to stay with me and Dad and I wouldn’t let him.

Today I’d like to cover self-care ideas with you.

What Is Self-Care?

Taking the necessary steps to do all you can to take care of your health. Learning to love and protect yourself the best you can. Knowing your needs and knowing how to meet them.

Some Self-Care Things You Can Do

  • Journal: Write about anything also write about what you are grateful about
  • Take A Walk:
  • Nap: Lay Down for 20 Minutes at a time
  • Read: Try to read one chapter a day
  • Meditation: Try a meditation app and learn from it. One of my favorite is Simple Habit or Headspace

What are some of your favorite ways to take care of yourself? Mine is too get much needed rest and too journal on my blog.

I love my Qalo Ring in Hot Pink it’s comfortable.

This is something we need to do in order to take care of ourselves. We have to be able to take care of ourselves in order to take care of other people and things.

A Better Writer At The Day Care Center

A Better Writer At The Day Care Center

At the center, Ms. Jefferson dropped us off around 8:30 AM. When I got here I got a cup of coffee and smoked a cigarette. After that I laid down in one of the twin beds they have in a special room I’m sitting outside of.

Crystallized Coffee - Sudden Coffee 300x250.

Smoked another cigarette and got another cup of coffee. Now I’m working on my blog. Have $10 with me and an additional $5 to give Ms. Jefferson for the car ride to MHMR tomorrow to get my injection of risperidone. I also need to call CVS and see if they have refills of my prescriptions.

I brought my backpack today to the Center and it’s kind of nice having my laptop to work on. Just wish I had someplace to plug it in so the battery wouldn’t die.

What Is The Day Care Center

This is something included in our price for the group home. Several groups from the group homes get together and we have a shuttle that brings us too and from here. In the morning we have breakfast and later we have lunch. There is a big open room with lots of tables where we can sit at and eat or converse.

There is an open back patio type area with chairs and a couch where we can smoke. We can get up too three cups of coffee every morning. Some special days we even go to the movies. There is a Family Dollar next door that we like to shop at.

Free Trial - Sudden Coffee 300x100

How To Help People With Disabilities

As I have said before I have Bipolar, Schizophrenia, and Border Line Personality Disorder.  Mostly everybody who is in these types of group homes is part of SSI or SSDI. I have been on SSI since 2012 for about 6 years. They have helped me get my teeth fixed, well now I have dentures. To get my glasses they help with frames and prescription. It takes care of my Psychiatric needs and medications. As well as a regular doctor which I need to go see. I also get free acupuncture which I need to set up.

You can help us by being respectful and treating us like normal people. It hurts to see someone with disabilities being made fun of or treated worse off then they should. http://www.meriahnichols.com/free-stuff-for-adults-with-disabilities

This Is Temporary Living Until Things Get Better

This situation is not to last forever, in fact, I only have about three more years on SSDI before they re-evaluate me. I could get better in those three years of I could get worse. Though right now I’m needing all the help I can get and I feel this blog helps me out a lot also.

I'm a member of Food Blogger Pro. Learn how to start and grow your food blog.

How To Write An Awesome Blog Posts

One of my hopeful ways to improve my way of life is this blog. I’m hoping to make some sort of income from writing this blog. Through affiliate sales, sponsored posts, and ad revenue. I need to make my first $100 first and so far I hope you have enjoyed reading my posts. Right now some of the things on my site are not working the way they are needing too so please bear with me.

Target Audience: I have been trying to get Google Analytics to work as well as the right-hand sidebar. Though neither one seems to work at the moment. I am mainly writing toward people my own age 30-40-year-olds with similar interest who care about their lifestyles.

  1. A Catchy Title
  2. Easy To Read – 5 subheadings for example
  3. SEO – I’m new to the whole SEO thing and am just now learning the ropes of it.
  4. End With A Call-To-Action – allow your reader to feel able to comment and give their insight on what you have just written.

What Kind of Posts to blog about 

I like sharing what my day is going like and where I am in life. As well as sharing information on things & places, life & self-help tips, and blogging and work tips. 

  1. 10 Things You Don’t know about me 
  2. How to properly pack a suitcase
  3. A monthly must-haves 
  4. Favorite Things About Fall

List Guides – anything the reader can learn from, Checklist Posts – must-haves, Series Posts – 1 in 10, Case Study / Comparison Posts

In order to become a better writer, you have to read a lot and really know what you are writing about. So research is important and takes up a good part of my time. 

It’s been a good day working on my laptop at the center. I like having the comfort of my own laptop and being able to access it. Now we’re back at the house. Sitting on top of my twin bed finishing Dr. P and trying to come up with an editorial calendar of some sort and looking at how to improve my blog. 

Where do you hang out? What do you like reading? What way do you like to learn?

Personalized Party Accessories and Favors

Loving My Body

Loving My Body

When you think about love what comes to mind what about your body? Body image a persons perception of their own sexy attractiveness. Wrapped in my pj’s and especially my Dear Foam bathrobe is when I can feel I have a sexy body wrapped in my own skin. Sexy Skin it’s good to always keep it shaved and smooth. Even though I haven’t seen my sexy man in 5 years we still talk and any moment he could surprise me.
In this group home full of us girls and the guys are in a different part of the house across the hall.

What does it take you to feel sexy! Stop looking at yourself as an overweight punching bag. The more pain you take out on yourself the more pain you’ll have scared when you get over 50.


I’ve worked or work for Suicide Girls and was accepted about 10 years ago.

A few years ago my body was even in a porno perhaps 15 years ago! While my roommates well ones a playboy bunny, ones an actress, and ones a dancer. No nothing to brag about and something that was taken from me as a young kid.

The love and respect for our bodies is something important. I have always been a problem in that way though not to the extreme where some want to impress those they are calling. Like the story Gentlemen Callers. I had my fun and now that I’m 31 it’s time to grow up.

My Dad still says I’m not getting married till Brandon who is 5 is out of the house. Which in all reality especially if I calm down and slow down a little bit is a long time. I am a hustler by heart and it truly is ride or die.

The Tattoo Artist That Loves Me

I first kissed a boy in pre-school I didn’t like it. I’ve been an underground musician and model. I also got accepted to suicide girls but never did any work for them. I have 5 tattoos back, both hips, ankle, and right shoulder. I’ve had my tongue pierced by my best guy friend 5 years ago and it got sucked out.


For Ink Contact Kylezzzz Brattin 

I don’t think we are all happy with our self image. My boyfriend who does tattoos hasn’t done one on me and I fear he doesn’t want to touch me. A recent friend at the group home who only stayed a few days said she was sold at a young age into sex slavery.

This year I have really dealt with sexual harassment. Not only is it worse coming from my own mind but it’s even worse when you hear it coming fro congregations. Is it something we have done or something we are doing?

5 Tips to help you love your body image

5. Don’t think about how other’s bodies look. My Dad “Can you tell I’m Daddy’s little girl?” told me that somewhere someone will always be prettier, smarter, funnier, and more wealthy than you will ever be. We can’t sit there and compare it’s a waste of precious time.



4. Remind Yourself What You Like. I like my complexion and my shortness. I don’t think it will be too hard for you to find things you like too if you try hard enough. Like the “Little Engine That Could” you can find things you like.


3. Beauty is a state of mind not just what you see in the mirror. We all see things the way we want to see them basically the way the mind thinks of them. When it comes down to it it really matters about our attitude about what’s going on.

2. Surround Yourself With Positive People. OK maybe this is something I could work on better to become that positive role model. I’m sure a lit up cigarette and a curse word on the tip of my tongue and a torn up outfit isn’t extremely flattering. People will help you but first you have to be willing to help yourself.

1. http://stylecaster.com/beauty/beauty-tips/ Read up on anything you were wondering about changing about your body. It’s never too late to find something new to update your look with. Take a trip to the mall and get your makeup done at Sephora like I did for my birthday. Or work on self-help to make yourself beautiful on the inside then out. You can read my beauty product reviews here on https://www.influenster.com/johnnafloyd#_=_

My Makeup Moves

Hippie Go Lucky from benefit this set is amazing with it’s cute little samples.

Make Up For Ever Ultra HD Base Foundation

Smashbox Eye-shadow Pallette : Cover Shot in Golden Hour

LA Colors Contouring Palette : I use as blush

Maybelline Fit Me Pressed Powder: That I should probably throw out bought it last year.

Dior fusia lip gloss

Loreal true match concealer

Moving From Ugly Duckling to Beauty Warrior

I am taking guest post if anyone is interested or I’d like to arrange an interview post. I don’t have anything to pay you but I think it would be nice to have a guest on this blog. Maybe a beauty guru or someone who really knows the competition within relationships.

Right now I am studying on how to make blog income traffic. Traffic means more page views and more page views means more people get my message that I try to send across. As an article has suggested 2,000 or 3,000 words. That will take a lot of revising and rewriting after posting so you have something to look at.



Everybody Has A Bad Day Once In A While

Everybody Has A Bad Day Once In A While

I had a bad day yesterday and today I just didn’t get out of bed. I had to go to JPS hospital yesterday because I was acting strange and deranged. I kept talking out loud about violence and money. Things that would have put me in jail if I wasn’t careful.

Then JPS sent me to this program at Stop 6 that isn’t even available. I started and gladly stopped chain-smoking like a maniac. Got a call yesterday about having to pay the collection agency about $3,000 for dropping out this Spring. I have to pay $50 a month out of the $100 I get.

Though I have to prove to myself that I have opportunities to make the money I necessarily need. Stop being a little pansy about things that are hard in life. I wonder as I wonder if these nightmares or the dreams which will come true.

Is this just a day or a way of life? In all, I can say it hasn’t been a bad life though there are consequences for everything we will ever do. Everyone in our lives cost us something. We can sit around blaming those things, people, and places we have placed our faith in for our problems. Or accept them and make the most out of them.

Take the time to journal. I am always carrying around a journal and a pen with me.. To write myself through problems I am facing with money, loved ones, and my thoughts. I then take that list and work on each item as I can. Knowing things will not get better instantly like oatmeal. Writing should be used as a source of therapy.

When I touched a flower yesterday it spiked up. It was dangerous to see this and others did too. It was scary I touched the leave and then it’d all spike up. Also getting home from the hospital was tragic. I sat there for about 3-5 hours of waiting. Then finally my group home mom called me an Uber.

If you could really tell yourself things in the mirror. Would they be good or bad things? Mine is not so much all the time sometimes I just have a downright bad attitude and that in the end makes a bad day, week, month, or even year. We make up our minds to believe what we want. The decision is all ours.

Faith In Pharmaceuticals

Faith In Pharmaceuticals

Faith is defined as trust in a person or a thing. As a long-term disability and especially benefits recipient, this is important in the Pharmacy department. This weekend after Monday Dad got me to go home around 4 because of fine health. Two hours before my son and sister and mom came home. I still can not read google analytics from the platform I wonder if it’s just not working or if it is an actual problem with traffic. I felt really bad Monday because my son asked me to stay up all night and I did. I smoked so much and drank so much coffee.

Woman health is a problem for me right now and I asked my nurse she said that it was the Lithium I am on. I had my period last night but not since this afternoon isn’t that weird. My dad cut fish when he got back before he dropped me off and he caught the biggest crappie. He had faith in me to do good and I can’t help feel a little bad that i have left him down for 15 years. They said they are more thankful that I have noticed.

My nanny takes care of all of our medicine needs. We all have our own individual mental illnesses I have bipolar, Schizophrenia, and depression. I have four roommates it’s important to have faith in the ones your around. Also to faithfully take care of your responsibilities.

Today is my roommates Lauren’s birthday I bought her a pack of talons and I’m going to do her nails. We had nacho and tostadas for dinner before we had cake. The cake had 7 layers of good cake, jelly, and frosting. I got my cake from Nothing Bundt Cakes. I don’t know where her sweet mother got this cake but it was rich. She also got a cell phone like mine.

Got a hotspot on my phone that runs my computer and it’s working. My Dad’s phone service is through AT&T. I’ve been reading and spelling with the letters of an acronym or a word it’s fun. The boss thing they said on the news is true and feel it is our responsibility to stay faithful to the things and people we have faith in the first place.

Instead of wondering what to do – Just start doing it

My mom used to tell me that it’s annoying to hear “Well what do you want me to do?” When talking about cleaning up. It’s easy or medium or hard on a scale from 1 to 10 to get what you thought you were trying to really do accomplished when you can think without distraction. Though this seldom happens and everything is something we have to pay for.

Though on first instinct at a human being we are prone to bad things. At least I know I was to putting myself into bad situations. I think the more we read and put our minds at work the less distracting this stuff becomes. I don’t know all the answers no one does. Sometimes it’s better not to listen like the time I walked into JPS. Some people are very hurtful in the way they talk. i am a communications major and here to talk to you and walk you through the thinking thought frustration.

Women's Stretch Fit Denim Jean Jacket

We Want Real Results – We Have Real Choices

I am not a prototype or a nemesis. I write everyday and work hard everyday. I am not some superficial problem. Many of them come up to us and are that problem. My Dad always said watch out for scam artist and seems to good to be true types.

If your really our friends you wouldn’t be lying to us to get your way. We would be able to stand up and receive what we are needing instead of tomatoes in our faces. As a Communications major I am pretty good at playing poker but in no since does that mean I want what was left in my pasture.

I want real results i want to make something out of myself. I try but I have border line personality disorder which diverts my attention and leads me on dangerous paths. That’s why my parents said no more hanging out. There are traps everywhere in this and every field. I go to Fielder and so far that Coffee Shop is not the problem may be something wrong with Starbucks though. I even worked at the coffee shop once upon a time.